I’m at a table with friends, my phone is put away and we are talking and enjoying drinks and good conversation. Everyone is very present until one person at the table pulls out their phone and appears to be scrolling through something on presumably a social media app. Next thing you know two more have taken out their phones as I start to eye-ball my purse plopped down by my ankle. What am I missing out on? What are they looking at that suddenly is more important than what we were doing? My friends, if you have experienced this or something close to it, then you might have a fear of missing out or what many have dubbed as FOMO.
The fear of missing out on what else could be going on takes you out of the present moment you are in and many of my friends and family have confided to me that they believe they’re more anxious when they don’t have their phone in hand. It used to be peaceful to know you had your mobile device nearby in case of emergency or someone calling, but now our devices have become addictive and we cannot even part with them long enough to enjoy a night out. Personally, I tend to go into an auto pilot mode and I don’t even really find myself thinking about my phone when I suddenly realize I am scrolling through Facebook or Instagram. Aside from the few posts in between dozens of adds, it’s hard to keep up on what my favorite peeps are even doing this way anyhow.
Earlier this year, January first to be precise, I decided I would leave Facebook and try to communicate more with family over phone calls and in person. I removed Facebook from everything; my laptop, ipad and my phone. For the first month it was more difficult because I had formed such a habit around checking Facebook and I asked my husband to help keep me accountable to my goal. I went all the way up until…the pandemic. Once we were quarantined all my hard won victories over my addiction imploded and I began to add social media apps back onto my devices. Slowly I began to look at Facebook more and more. The lack of social interaction and fear of not knowing what was going on with everyone took a new hold and when you’re busy working a 8-5, and you’re in school and you’re trying to start your own side business…well, it’s just easier to keep up with everyone when you can look in one place instead of making a bunch of calls or sending an endless stream of texts.
Not sure what the future holds for me, but I am beginning to realize once again, that social media is taking too much from my time, or rather that I am making the choice to give too much of my time to social media. At the end of the day I try to remind myself that there was a life, a functioning, sociable world before social media networking took hold. We can get past it and we need to for our own health. I went ahead and looked up some tips for dealing with FOMO and I will run over them here, but I also have included a link to the original source at the bottom of this page if you’re interested.
First things first, slow down. Set reminders around to help you or even do what I did and have your significant other or a friend help hold you accountable. Your time is valuable, so don’t just give it up for anything, choose what is most important. Give your soul some love by really taking in the moments that are good in your life and appreciating them by not comparing your life to another. You have amazing things going for you and so many reasons to be happy, soak that shit up. It is okay to not “have it all” and in fact when you stop focusing on what others have and what you don’t have and start to focus on what you do have (count your blessings) you will realize you have an abundance of good in your life. Positivity isn’t just an adjective, it’s a verb my friends. Be positive.
Last, take it one thing at a time. When you’re with someone, be with them. When you’re talking to someone, listen and be present. You are spreading yourself too thin if you think you can be in a room and on social media and texting someone at the same time. Just stop. Be present and enjoy the moments of your life. Savor every moment and prioritize your closest relationships. One great conversation with a friend who gets you and vice versa outdoes any amount of time spent looking at the lives of people you hardly know. Be grateful for what you have, because you have wonderful things and wonderful people in your life. Take it all in and enjoy the process. Coming up on 30, it’s dawning on me just how much time I’ve lost and how much I’m no longer willing to give up. Let’s stop choosing to give our most precious gift, our time, away to anything less than what feeds our souls. Time to get back to living.
Read Between the Designs 